- I drafted this letter to a dear person in my
life....she encouraged me to write. I have relented only because I may be able
to help someone...in some way. -
Only a true person with true life experience could
see the hurt within a contrived and well placed picture.......I try very hard
to hide it, not because I'm ashamed, but because I don't seek comfort from
anyone. No one understands. It is my purpose to offer comfort; I know a true
depth of hurt and people find that comforting, oddly enough.
Where I am?.... well, I've ran from intimacy, hid
from love, been disgraced and discouraged, beaten and abused...I've been lied
to, cheated on, discriminated against and let down. I've had my heart broke,
and I've broke my own heart. I'm a product of my history and a testament to the
future. I live in the moment because I don't believe in tomorrow.
But I've learned to love in the face of sheer
terror....I've learned to walk through fire with no fear. Worry less. Pray
more.
I found that I not only love with my whole heart,
but respect the human spirit and capacity for connection more than anything.
And I've found that to be the difference between long term and short term
relationships and interactions. I've coped in ways I didn't know were possible
and found new paths for surviving. I am a rock and although I stand on my own
two feet, I know I have love there supporting me, and ready to catch if I fall.
Footprints in the sand.
I'm at this weird place right now where I battle
between happiness and guilt. I'm a deep believer in signs from the universe and
messages that aren't always as clear as we would like them to be.
I've looked for my former self, and tried
tirelessly to reconnect with that person, and to no avail. I'm moving away from
that notion and have found that a gentle progress of a wild bear trollops the
concept of the majestic beast caged and on display. So forward I run, stumble,
and fall....in love, deeply. And for the moment, I'm safe and sound.
With love,
Little Sister
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